My Town

An invitation to mockumentarians

Photo by Mike Kenneally on Unsplash

I live in a town of aura polishers.

I live in a town where men named Michael insist that you call them Silence.

My town has two kava bars. Please don’t tell me what kava is.

I live in a town with more head shops than doughnut shops.

People in my town drink White Russians with raw milk.

I live in a town with pseudo Morris dancers on street corners.

My town celebrates the yoni with a float in the annual parade.

We have a CSA for that, whatever it is.

My town has a homegrown circus, gong baths, and roller derby.

We have a ‘cooperative’ softball league, where tie-dyed oldsters with greying ponytails try, unsuccessfully, to tame their competitive spirits.

My town keeps Birkenstock and Volvo solvent.

I live in an eastern town awash in western pearl snap shirts and shit-kickers.

We have more accordions than people.

I live in a town where righteous eco-warriors are always asking for rides.

My town has so many yoga studios, they war about turf and branding.